I've fallen off the wagon.
It didn't take me long!
In fact, I hadn't even started my month's green smoothie fast yesterday, when I threw a hand-full of brazils into my wide open yawning mouth ... at seven in the morning, while trying to light the fire with sodden wood.
I was very excited that now my baby of nearly three years has pretty much weaned himself off his mama's living milk. I was gonna be able to clean myself out in the first week of my new year.
Who was I trying to kid!
Not thinking through this idea, looking at what I was devouring and when and why ... just throwing myself whole heartedly into fasting without a thought was probably not the best of ideas to get started.
No goal in sight
Just a half hearted attempt at feeling lighter, cleaner and gifting myself with a boost of love.
Why the fast?
I've unintentionally put on weight. Quite a lot actually.
I'm beginning to wear those winter hide-me-away clothes again.
Then there's my eldest's beauty-full comment on my birthday. She loves me coz i feel like sloppy porridge.
I feel slower, lower energy, heavy and lacking some of the unlimited energy that I usually bound with.
And then there's the photos of me splashing in the ocean in my birthday suit! My daughters lithe bodies in contrast of my own beauty-full voluptuous body highlighted at last what I already new.
I'm getting fat.
And the reason for gaining unwanted fat's no rocket science.
Too much fat
Too much sugar
Too many calories
Not enough water
Lacking in exercise
Not enough sleep
Incorrect balance in life
I had a giggle about binging on nuts so early in the morning ... and if that's how bad it got, what's the problem?
Of course, there's no problem..I just don't feel comfortable at the excess weight that's been creeping on since I changed my life, going off grid, relying on too little solar power to keep me turbo charged through the colder days.
The dehydrator that we used to rely on in the winter months to conveniently consume our days worth of seeds and nuts in handy pack-'em-up sized pizza bread, crackers and chips, and the fridge that we lack to conveniently store pre-made meals has meant that although we've been eating fresher and lighter meals, mainly in the form of salads, I've not been sprouting grains, seeds and legumes as much, and have been lavishly filling up instead with dried fruits, nuts and generous helpings of avocado, chocolate and coconut oil.
It's like it's Christmas binging every day!
Lacking solar power as the sky dumps blankets of rain on us, means more than the garden of greens resting in hibernation. Without enough electricity to keep a dehydrator bangin' out health-full staples, I've been grabbing food in it's natural state and relying on dried staples to fulfil all of my emotional and physical needs ... which has created a platform of addiction to sugars and fats.
A house that can get unbearably cold due to lack of insulation and sodden clay beneath our wooden stilted floors, means that my body has started to insulate itself.
And again, none of this is a biggie.
To convert this given energy into a state of a highly functioning body, I just need to up my exercise regime.
Into maybe a marathon a week at current gorging.
Obviously walking up and down the hill is not raising my heart beat enough to use the excess calories that I'm feeding myself these days. So, I've either gotta find some time to raise my heart beat tenfold, or I gotta cut down on the sugars and fats.
Fat loves to snuggle up to the sugar, where it stores it for later, rather than converting it into super fuel glucose.
So, here's my updated plan.
Run to my new Creative Space via the beach
Chop wood, collect kindling, run and play more outside with the kids, creating warmth from the inside out.
Stick to a handful of nuts and seeds each day
Fill up with super green smoothies
Limit myself to one avocado per day
Eat two main green salads, brimming with sprouts
and the two biggies:
Make time for myself for exercise
Get some more sleep
Make time for myself for exercise
Don't get fooled into thinking that eating health-fully will keep you in tiptoptastic condition.
Keep an eye on what you're consuming and when and why. Empowering ourselves with the knowledge that food is energy utilised to get us from A-Z, revitalising, repairing and rejuvenating our bodies and mind, helps us power our life and gets us naturally, living life more.
It doesn't matter whether you're on the healthiest lifestyle or hammering the middle aisles of the superstore ... if you don't get a good balance, then somethings gotta give.